M is for Mad (adj)

Ex: It's mad that I'm already thinking about how soon it is till I go home.

I would apologize for not posting for a while, but really nothing exciting has happened. To catch you up, I spent a weekend in Edinburgh, which was super nice to get some quality work done on my essays (“quality” meaning “some/any”). It was also nice to be at church since I hadn’t been in a few weeks. Then last weekend I went to London to visit some friends, which was really fun but not life-changing/blog-worthy. Also one of the problems with living in Edinburgh is that they try to keep their slang to a minimum in case someone makes fun of them for it so it’s really hard to come up with new slang for every blog post title and I’m embarrassed by lame titles like this one.

So anyway, as my flatmate Marie points out to me almost on the daily (Hey Marie!), we only have two and half weeks of lectures left, followed by a week of revision/studying/writing essays, followed by two weeks of exams, after which I will be going home.

At this point, it feels like everything I’m doing is tainted with the knowledge that I’m leaving. Like I just started going to the weekly swing dancing venue in Edinburgh and all I could think while I was there was that I would only be there for like a month and is it even worth it to get to know people there? I only have two weekends left where I’ll actually be in Edinburgh, so only two more times that I’ll see everyone at my church. Only a couple more times I can go to pubs with my friends when we know we’re all free.

I really like Edinburgh and I feel like I’m finally adjusted to living here. I have friends and a routine and I know to get around the city. Switching on outlets before using them has become automatic, I look the right way when crossing the street, and I’m used to everyone having British accents. And I’ve FINALLY learned how to respond to “Alright?” (don’t laugh it was a huge step for me). I’ve learned about the little things that make Edinburgh what it is, and I love so many little things about it.

At the same time, I really miss home and Puget Sound. I miss the music building and I miss Denny’s and I miss going to a small school and I really miss my friends. Just registering for classes and having friends in every single one made me excited about being back.

I started the semester excited about living in the UK for a period of time to try it out, and I think I’ve lived here long enough to get a feel for what it’s like, and if I’m honest, I had a really romanticized view of British life. Now that I’ve lived here for a little bit, it’s become a complex place with problems and awesome aspects and real people. It’s really cool, but as I think about where I want to work even next summer, as far as exciting opportunities go, I see America and the UK on the same level. Which is something I never thought I’d say.

What it boils down to though, is that it’s the people that are drawing me in different directions. I’ve met amazing, amazing people in Scotland, and I feel like I don’t have enough time to really get to know them. On the other hand, the time difference makes it really rough skype friends at home, and I miss being surrounded by people I already know and love.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hate having friends. Seriously why you gotta make life so hard you all suck

The upside is that I actually do have a solid month left, which is more time than I think it is. As long as I remember it is too early to be thinking such sad things and ignore my inevitable return to the states, I should have a grand month. 

Tune in next time when I talk about being in Michigan for a weekend because of GORDON’S WEDDING (I KNOWWWW)